The Characters - who will you be?

So, you've read the RPG guidelines, is interested in the concept and want to take the next step: Creating a character. Now, since this is my world and my rules, this will not be based on any complicated dice-roll system or any existing ruleset at all. There is only one obligation: You must be a human. When you make a character, all you need to do is give me the following:

1. A story. What made your character the dude/dudette he/she is today? What has happened to him up to this point? What does he do? Who does he know? If you manage to include organizations, races and worlds that already exist, this would make the character even more appealing, as he's already an integrated part of the universe.

2. Feats. Is your character strong? Smart? Charismatic? Good with hamsters? Choose as many as you'd like, but please act within reason. Remember that you're creating a character you want to have fun with, and while realism isn't alwayes fun, too much dumb stuff makes everything dumb. And if you're good at everything, what's the challenge? Right, there is none. And really, is that fun?

3. Motivations (tied with Story). What does your character want to accomplish? What's his or her goal in life? This is not exactly required but would give you somthing to focus on.

4. Weaknesses. Also not required per say, but encouraged. Truly interesting characters are those that struggle and win against odds.

5. Almost forgot: Appearance. Just give me a general idea if you want, but I'd appriciate if you could be as detailed as possible. And yes, appearance does matter.

Finally, as a piece of advice: Though you might have found the concept for the coolest character evah, ask yourself is this is a character you really can play. Interesting characters are only as interesting as how they are played.

If I disagree or dislike with aspects of your character, I'll tell you and we can discuss it.

Alright, now go post me some awesome characters!

EDIT: O, and here's a useful link for all you guys who find it difficult to explain how you want to your character to look: http://www.freegames.ro/face_maker/

From the very Start of his life young Serilion had been a very charismatic and lucky guy. Or at least that is what he think he was. Not to jump too far in the story about young Serilion Keshir, but to know Serilions past we must first know the not-so-young Serilion`s present, And in Serilions present, there is a minor problem for some, a big problem for others, and a very frustrating problem for the not-so-young Serilion. Well ....... not one problem but rather two problems. You see Serilion Keshir has amnesia. ah I know, such a cliché.. and that is what Serilion said, when he sudenly woke up one day in a very comfy bed, and with a very old docter with a sad face saying " Serilion.... you got amnesia" too this Serilion said " eh.......... doctor...... you do know that we two are the only two people in the room right???" and so an epic and a growing frustrating conversation between a spooked Serilion (who thinks his doctor is talking to a ghost named Serilion, and is trying to cover it up with bullshit) and a old doctor (Who is trying the most difficult task he has ever had in hes almost-not-so-spesial carer) But as allready said. the not-so-young Serilion had two problems, not one. The first problem ofcourse is not a doctor talking to ghost (creepy yes, a problem for Serilion no) but the almost minor fact that serilion has amnesia. The second problem is the Serilions face and body was almost ruined. Before the doctor had fleed in a frustrated rage from Serilion Keshir, so had the doctor managed to inform Serilion some facts about the accident which Serilion so happened to be in. A spaceships hyperdrive had malfunctioned and a big eksplosjon had soon followed. So too the almost-surprise of Serilion, he was in fact a survivor of that accident (or at least, a accident with the hyperdrive is what the offical story is) He was also apperently,a fluffy rich spoiled brat ( which is how the doctor described him after shouting "I AM FOR fluff fluffy fluff LAST TIME!!!!! NOT TALKING TO A GHOST") So with his body in a mess, failing health, and lot of cash, major surgery on big parts of his body was a must on everyones mind. But here comes a slight dilema. The old doctor had left the room in a rightous rage, and so it was up to the lazy student/nurse/apprentice (and not a very competent student) to help with Serilions need. (The student had most probably got the job because her body) So the Nurse gave Serilion a display of thousand of different male and female forms. On this display serilion could change the apperance too his liking as long as the hight matched serilions. With the words "chose the one you like best and send it to me" the nurse left the room. Now it would have been easy to understand the true meaning of the words the nurse said, but serilion had just been in an accident and the operation that would heal him, was also the operation that would alter his apparance. With that said, Serilion was still not in his best stat (so the old doctor had painfully discovered after the "small" ghost"argument") and so Serilin didn`t get that this would be his new form (even thought his old apperence was in the upper right corner of the display) Serilion being a not so healthy STRAIGHT guy, he picked ofcourse one of female forms thinking that the nurse wanted to know which of the forms he sexually prefered. And so Serilion was put back in coma, where he possible had sweet dreams for a week. Now after waking for the second time, serilion find himself in a female body. After desparete thinking "WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF........" he found out that he still had mister happy, he was in effect a shemale. the fact was this. The doctors found out about Serilion preferd tast from the lazy nurse, and thought "hey, if that guy want a sex change, why not, more money for us then YAY" However Since Serilion had not filed in an application for a sexchange just some body and facial surgery, they decided in all their mighty wisdom to just give him a pair of breast and leave mister happy til he was awake. Serilion in his injured male pride didn`t want to abandon mister happy, and said sternly "Don`t remove mister happy,plzz," well actually he was shouting and begging the doctor.
And so we come to the present

After the faithfull surgery Serilion found out that he couldn`t change back "Not without some risk anyway" Serilion chose to rather stay a shemale than lose mister happy. The rest of serilion stay at the hospital, Serilion discover the joy of cheasy movies. So Now Serilion Keshir Can finally leave the hospital. long Brown/ red hair, brown and a half egyptian/asian apparance With a nothing truly out of the ordinary for a fit/sporty girl (shemale) 25 year of age,
Serilion is dying to find out more about his past, He knows he is rich, also that he has founded several expeditions too the Andromeda systems. apperently his former self wanted to find a planet of his own where he could rule.

Apperently he has no familiy alive and the idea of making his trade-empire to a real empire is strangely something that is worth a thought. He first has to discover what his companies do, what do he own, and who works for him??
Except vison of greatness, Serilion Keshir used to be a man which nothing was truly out of the ordinary for a rich spoiled brat. He had said something he wanted and people working under him tried to find out a way. He was at times ruthless and cowardly, with no understanding of shame, dutie and what is moraly right.
He did Ofcourse know the laws but had no regards for the United Human Alliance, finansing in secret several rebellions and military/economic actions against United Human Alliance. It was ofcourse not that he hated or had anything against the United Human Alliance, he just thought that he could profit more from war, and maybe from the chaos, a new empire could emerge. However since He can`t remember his former self, it is still a question if he has changed or not.

Well, lets look through this then! There is some good stuff here (marginally), but I've got to say - there's also a lot of stuff I don't like. But kudos to keshir anyway, for being the first one to post a character, nicely done!

Alright. My first complain is this: It's just too silly. I like your second post a lot more than the first, largely because the first post contains a lot of silly dialogue that doesn't really contain any juicy information about the character. The whole ghost thing (and honestly I don't quite get that one) serves no purpose, neither for the character nor those around him. There's just too much comedy here, and I find myself asking a lot of questions instead of receiving answers.

For example: Serilion can both speak and think clearly before the surgery - so why isn't he asked by the surgeon/doctor what he would like? The "fact" that the doctor became outrageous because of Serilion's behaviour does not change this, as medical LAW dictates that he must comply with the patient’s wishes. Why is he having a surgery in the first place? It's quite clear he's able to function properly without any. You say that "major surgery on big parts of his body was a must on everyones mind" but whose mind are we talking about here? Clearly not Serilion's own, and why would the doctor care - he has no guarantee of receiving any money from an amnesia-stricken brat he doesn't really know. There are just a lot of holes in the logic here.
And when we’re on the subject of amnesia – this is not really taken into account here. Amnesia is a terrible feeling; suddenly you have no idea who you are, who you used to know and what has happened to you. You might remember fragments of earlier events, and gradually thus dig into the past as you go on into the future. It ought to be an exiting concept.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of stories involving amnesia that suck. This is generally because amnesia is just thrown into the plot without really handling it in the story. It’s just a side-note with no driving force behind it. Also, it’s a bit like saying that you don’t care or can’t be bothered with the background – that’s the job of the RPG-master. It’s like giving me the job of creating parts of the character – which is not a problem per say, but I’d like you to get involved yourself and create the character YOU want, not what I want.
Serilion seem to not really care about his amnesia in your post. It’s like he’s just: “meh, no problem!” This is even stranger when you take into account that he insists on keeping his penis – why would he? If he really has amnesia he would not remember his past or his real identity and since he’s taking this so lightly, why can’t he just fully transform into a woman? Or even just heal his damaged parts (again, the whole stupid assistant thing is just too silly) instead of changing gender? While the concept of a shemale could bear some promise, it’s not really handled here – it’s just comical effects. There is no real, logical reason for why he ends up in such a state. He didn’t file an application?! Come on! That’s just stupid, and it’s not really an explanation. I don’t want this to be a kind of “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” kind of thing, where the whole universe is weird and funny. This is supposed to be a more serious, realistic universe, like Mass Effect or, to a certain degree, Star Wars.

The second post contains some possible motivations, but most of them, I must say, fall flat for me. There are just more logical flaws here – how come he’s “dying to find out more about his past” yet didn’t ask the doctor, a doctor who clearly knew who he was? How come no one else visited him? This ought to be a story some media or somebody he knew caught up on. How does he know he’s rich even? Just because his doctor told him? Why would he bother to even think about creating “a new empire” when he hardly knows who he is? And where is the panic? The fear? The loneliness of feeling like you know no one, not even your self? Don’t come and tell me Serilion doesn’t feel those things; then you are basically telling me he has no emotion. And I’ve got to wonder how a person who has “no understanding of shame, dutie and what is moraly right.” can be the leader of some “trade-empire”. It just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t see Serilion as a leader at all. If these traits are to be believed, he’s much more of a drifter type, always on the move and on his own.

As you can see, there’s a lot I don’t find very compelling about this. I suggest you work some more on the concept and create a better start and more realistic events if this is going to work. If you’re going to use the overly-clichéd amnesia thing, include it a LOT more, and actually make the main character care about it (else it’s no point in including it). If he’s going to be a shemale, find me a better reason why he ended up that way and make him care about this as well. If you drop the whole amnesia thing, this transformation will also be an identity crisis, but in terms of gender.
Some other things to think about:
1.Friends and allies. Doesn’t he have anybody? Why, or why not? I don’t care if he’s the most ruthless, introverted and least socially capable person in the universe. If he really ran a company (and again, I find this hard to believe) he did know people. Fact.
2.More traits! And doesn’t he have any positive ones?! He can’t just be an irritating brat, can he?

Name: Memphis
Nickname: WildCard (Due to that it's so hard to tell his next move)
Race: Human (Born in Apego, Eperoch)
Profession: Leader of one of the major gangs in Apego, called "Stars of revelation", or SOR, and secretive UHA employee.

Memphis are born in Apego, and he has lived there all his life. At age fifteen he was picked up at night by UHA, because of a robbery he pulled off. The robbery was executed almost perfectly, as he and his three buddies were exiting, a guard attacked one of them, and one of the others shot the guard. All of them accused the other for shooting the guard (including Memphis himself), so no one really knows who did it.

Anyway, Memphis was brought in to UHA headquarters in the city. He underwent some tests and due to high IQ, good physique, and no immediate next of kin, UHA saw potencial in him to recrute him. They assigned him to work where he works best, the streets. He was assigned to form his own gang and take control over as much of the city as possible.

Today he is the leader of SOR, wich is about the 5th largest gangs in the city, and they are in constant conflicts with other gangs. (More gangs i leave to be named later either by me or others). At first Memphis thought his mission for UHA was all he had to live for, but now he has dreams that he rather wants to fulfill, so lately he has tried to free himself and SOR from UHA as much as possible.

He has always dreamt of travelling to distant stars and systems, but most of all he dreams of having the largest gang in Eperoch, and later establishing it as a powerful organization that takes part in construction, banking, politics etc. Basicly a powerful organ that controls the city, not only the streets. He also dreams of freeing himself from UHA control and actually some day be able to control them through SOR.

Memphis is very calm, and controlled, but as all men he has a limit to how much he can take. I also mentioned high IQ. It is high, but not that high, but still higher than most people. He also has good physique, not excellent, but good. He has a large scar on his heart and another on his thie, so he has underwent heavy surgery, not due to fighting, but problems at young age. He is about 1.80, has brown hair, and white-brownish skin (YES i know you think it's myself, but its NOT! Im taller xD)

ALL THIS CAN BE CHANGED OF COURSE IF IT DOES NOT FIT WITH EVERYTHING ELSE!

Alright! Finally, the powerful Xpnz has entered the stage! If only that lazy keshir could get his butt back into the virtual world, we could maybe go somewhere with this - alas, as of now, all we can do is wait. And discuss your character, naturally

I like that you both have used some of the names in the world as well as contributing with some of your own (Stars of Revelation. Well, honestly, I would have thought that to be some tarot-reading, intergalactic gypsy convention, not a gang. But then again, there are proabably gangs called far worse things ) I also, in a general way, like your background. It's got some good information tied to it., BUT I do have some questions all the same.

Xpnz wrote:

At age fifteen he was picked up at night by UHA, because of a robbery he pulled off.

Alright, fine. But I'd like to know, just in a general way, how he came to be afflicted with the small group in the first place. What about his parents? Doesn't he have any family at all? Why/why not?

Xpnz wrote:

They assigned him to work where he works best, the streets. He was assigned to form his own gang and take control over as much of the city as possible.

Alright, so the first part I get. This is called UHA reintegration policy, or simply "stormtrooping": You take a promising, somewhat trustworthy kid and educate him to embrace your own ideals.
After that he might became a part of the system, or, as you have implied, reintegrated into the old system with a new mindset (and technically, a new boss.) It's an effective way of keeping track of the world beyond your own control, such as the seedy, criminal downside in society. The new kid becomes an agent for your own cause, perhaps now struggling with his loyalties (not that the UHA would care about that).

Alright, and here comes the thing I don't get: Why would the UHA, who, let me remind you, effectively already control the city, send an unknown, unproven kid to do their work? It seems a bit naive, in my mind. Alright, so the kid is smart. All the more reason to not trust him with such important work, if you ask me.

Xpnz wrote:

At first Memphis thought his mission for UHA was all he had to live for, but now he has dreams that he rather wants to fulfill, so lately he has tried to free himself and SOR from UHA as much as possible.

OK, I can understand that. But I'd like some more background here - exactly how is the SOR organized? Does Memphis report directly to the UHA? Does other people in his gang know of UHA's involvement? Are other gangs also under UHA's influence? And how come his gang became so successful (being the 5th largest and all)? Has Memphis got any reason for why he wants to break free and form a company (other than "just wanting")?

And when it comes to his looks; what "problem" are you referring to when you speak of the heavy surgery? Keep in mind that, if he's a poor kid from a poor family, he most likely couldn't afford any surgery.

Some other stuff:
- Does he have any negative sides to him?
- Friends and allies. Anybody in general he knows? You don't have to give me detailed information here, but being a leader and all, he ought to know some people.
- Does his gang earn anything or are they just thugs looking for fun?

If you work a bit more on the character here, and just generally flesh him out for me, then I think this is going to work.

Montezuma wrote:

Xpnz wrote:

At age fifteen he was picked up at night by UHA, because of a robbery he pulled off.

Alright, fine. But I'd like to know, just in a general way, how he came to be afflicted with the small group in the first place. What about his parents? Doesn't he have any family at all? Why/why not?

One of them is named Lawson, he is one year older than Memphis, and about just the same personality traits like Memphis. Despite his name he has always been in conflict with the law, having assault, theft, and disturbing the peace on his rapsheet. Memphis met him for the first time when Lawson ran into him as he was running from the cops. He had just beaten a man in broad daylight, and of course the cops responded quickly. Because he stumbled into Memphis, Lawson got arrested. He was sentenced to one year (du to various reasons). When he got out, he bought himself some food at a store downtown, and that's where they met again. Lawson did not hold a grudge against him, instead they got to know each other and became friends. Lawson would later persuade Memphis into helping him rob a bank. Memphis was fourteen at the time.

The other two were aquainteces of Lawson who he had recruited two weeks before the robbery. They originally planned for only the two of them, but later realised that they needed two more to pull it off. Memphis never really learned their names, they were always referred to as "Catapillar", and "Digsby".

After the failed heist they were all picked up and arrested, and Memphis assume that they are still in jail, but he never knew what happened to them in detail.

Montezuma wrote:

Xpnz wrote:

They assigned him to work where he works best, the streets. He was assigned to form his own gang and take control over as much of the city as possible.

Alright, and here comes the thing I don't get: Why would the UHA, who, let me remind you, effectively already control the city, send an unknown, unproven kid to do their work? It seems a bit naive, in my mind. Alright, so the kid is smart. All the more reason to not trust him with such important work, if you ask me.

The thought here is that yes, UHA controls the city, but compare it to todays USA. The Police/FBI/NSA etc do infact control most things, but there are still gangs, robberies and murders on the streets. Memphis is assigned to control and act as a sort of mole and report if someone planned something, or who did it if a crime was committed, like a robbery or a murder. He is to act as a liason to UHA where they can't get proper access themselves. All lawinforcments need this, no gouverment or lawenforcement-agency is capable of complete street control. And what better way to control someone than to just threaten them with long jail-time if they dont comply to your orders. And if he is smart, all the bigger chance of him pulling it off.

Montezuma wrote:

Xpnz wrote:

At first Memphis thought his mission for UHA was all he had to live for, but now he has dreams that he rather wants to fulfill, so lately he has tried to free himself and SOR from UHA as much as possible.

OK, I can understand that. But I'd like some more background here - exactly how is the SOR organized? Does Memphis report directly to the UHA? Does other people in his gang know of UHA's involvement? Are other gangs also under UHA's influence? And how come his gang became so successful (being the 5th largest and all)? Has Memphis got any reason for why he wants to break free and form a company (other than "just wanting")?

How SOR has become powerful? This is where the nicknames comes in. WildCard - impossible to predict and hard to prepare for. Serpent - sneaky, calculated and deadly poisenous. And the Captains has been using their female smartness and been able to just crush rivals because they were underestimated. I could elaborate but hey, use your imagination

Memphis does not just "want" to break free. He wants to be able to really control things himself and establishing SOR as a organization, and not just a gang. wich of course UHA does not want. UHA want to keep SOR down on the streets but Memphis wants fame and to be able to be "professional" and noticed in the higher society.

Memphis reports to his contact at UHA by placing an ad in the newspaper. Spesific words has different meanings for UHA, so although some sentences may become strange or weird they find the meaning. (I know we are in the future so the "newspaper" can be on the internet, "superfuturethingys", or just "superDUPERfuturethingys" you know? I still think we have some kind of newspaper If this proves ineffective, UHA just calls him on a secret encrypted number. Yes that is easier but its a much higher risk in actually talking on the phone, since rivals or traitors could have him under surveillance etc. So they try to keep the phone-use to a minimum. Nobody but Memphis knows about UHA. This is a gang that generally opposes the law, and something like that would not be treated likely.

SOR is organized like so: One "Executive", Memphis (or WildCard as he is referred to inside the gang), one second in command, or "Gouvernor", who acts as a bodyguard, witness, and advisor. Five "Captains" who relays orders and messages on to the "Seregants". One seregant for each city area that controls their people and territories. (yes i know "each city area" is vague but im not good at estimating sizes of areas or amount of people in one area etc)

For discussing important matters and what to do with them etc, SOR has a council wich consists of the Excecutive, the Governour, and the Captains. The Captains presents messages and topics to the council wich then is discussed and decided upon. Mostly they agree and do not argue, but if they can't reach a decision it's put to a vote. There are seven people in the council so there is always a majority. The trick here is that the Governour is NOT allowed to discuss or share his oppinions during the council, he is only to be witness to what is being said. The only time he is allowed to take part in decicion making, is when they are voting. Then he is allowed to vote as they need a majority. The Governour is as previously stated a personal advisor to the Excecutive, so even though he is not allowed during council, he is frequently sharing his point of view to the Excecutive when the council is not gathered.

The current Gouvernor is a man named Shane, nicknamed "Serpent". He is the same age as Memphis, and they have known each other since childhood. They are good friends but they do not always share the same points of view and have never really gotten along completely. Shane is not as evil or cunning as his nickname suggests and has no intentions of treachury and deceit. He is loyal, han actually has a lot of respect for Memphis because he has been able to build what he refers to as a "empire" from the ground up.

The current Captains are actually all female, and although poor, very cute. Their names are Kristina (nicknamed Phoenix), Grace (Watergirl), Stella (The Wall), Marie (The Queen), and Madelyn (Amber) All of them are also childhood friends. Not as good friends as Shane, but still trustworthy friends. Due to bad experiences with strangers and with Catapillar and Digsby, Memphis is a strong believer of never recruiting people you dont know. Especially "thugs for hire". He does the best he can to keep his chain of command filled as far down as possible with people he know he can trust. (I can explain all nicknames if i managed to poke your curiosity ^^)

Montezuma wrote:

And when it comes to his looks; what "problem" are you referring to when you speak of the heavy surgery? Keep in mind that, if he's a poor kid from a poor family, he most likely couldn't afford any surgery.

Let's scrap that one about the surgeries. Bad move.

Montezuma wrote:

Some other stuff:
- Does he have any negative sides to him?
- Friends and allies. Anybody in general he knows? You don't have to give me detailed information here, but being a leader and all, he ought to know some people.
- Does his gang earn anything or are they just thugs looking for fun?

- He has trouble sleeping and often suffers from nightmares, so his nerves are a bit shot. He also recently has started having troubles with depressions due to extensive daydreaming about wanting to go to distant places and to his own fantasy worlds he creates in his head. He wants to go there, be a different person, be a real hero and stuff like that. He has troubles seperating dream and reality.

- Friends and allies are his Governor and his Captains. Family and relatives are gone. Most of them are dead due to poverty and crime. Others are in jail, and some of them saved enough money to leave the city, probably to settle down in a different world in the Antago-cluster.

- He tries to keep his gang as professional as possible, and tries to avoid harboring or dealing with "thugs looking for fun". They collect protection money from local businesses that has been or is most frequently raided by other gangs, they steal from other gangs, and businesses on their territories, but most of their income is from "taking over" stores and businesses. They add "SOR" somewhere in the name, and let the shopkeeper run it as usual, but as a employee of SOR. They pay him a adequate salary and take the rest for themselves. They try to treat the shopkeepers as good as possible and give them enough money to live properly, because for example if a shopkeeper on the outskirts of the "gang territory" is offered a better deal by a rivaling gang, he might be tempted to accept, thus making it a rivaling gangs territory, and then they will do what they can to protect and defend it from its previous masters. Thats why its often most lucrative to have a store in the middle of territories, because of the gangs trying to buy their loyalties. But then it is also a bigger risk of getting raided and robbed.

Cool, man, cool! I can definitly see this as one potentially awesome story! Let's look through it once more, just to filter out some other stuff I noticed.

Alright, I like this Lawson character. You can expect to see him in the future His story fits. The only thing that remains a bit fuzzy is the family thingy. It's a bit vague at this point, like I told you. But you can think about that, I'll let you decide if you want to flesh it out, or just leave it.

Xpnz wrote:

The thought here is that yes, UHA controls the city, but compare it to todays USA. The Police/FBI/NSA etc do infact control most things, but there are still gangs, robberies and murders on the streets. Memphis is assigned to control and act as a sort of mole and report if someone planned something, or who did it if a crime was committed, like a robbery or a murder. He is to act as a liason to UHA where they can't get proper access themselves. All lawinforcments need this, no gouverment or lawenforcement-agency is capable of complete street control. And what better way to control someone than to just threaten them with long jail-time if they dont comply to your orders. And if he is smart, all the bigger chance of him pulling it off.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But did they really tell him to build up the best and biggest gang in the city, or was that an idea (or aspiration) of his own?

Xpnz wrote:

I could elaborate but hey, use your imagination

Alright, so a combination of dedication and collective collaboration, as well as good leadership. Works for me. If every gang was as well organized, we'd have a lot more of them.

Quote :

Memphis does not just "want" to break free. He wants to be able to really control things himself and establishing SOR as a organization, and not just a gang. wich of course UHA does not want. UHA want to keep SOR down on the streets but Memphis wants fame and to be able to be "professional" and noticed in the higher society.

That'll work. Any reason for these higher ambitions? (sue me, I like psychology )

Xpnz wrote:

Memphis reports to his contact at UHA by placing an ad in the newspaper. Spesific words has different meanings for UHA, so although some sentences may become strange or weird they find the meaning. (I know we are in the future so the "newspaper" can be on the internet, "superfuturethingys", or just "superDUPERfuturethingys" you know? I still think we have some kind of newspaper Razz If this proves ineffective, UHA just calls him on a secret encrypted number. Yes that is easier but its a much higher risk in actually talking on the phone, since rivals or traitors could have him under surveillance etc. So they try to keep the phone-use to a minimum. Nobody but Memphis knows about UHA. This is a gang that generally opposes the law, and something like that would not be treated likely.

Well, newspapers are kind of extinct. They do exist, but it's really only in museums. Computer terminals and gritty hubstations contain all the necassary communication methods these days. Most of them are free too, and while the Internet has become more or less a propaganda platform for the UHA, it''s also (as today) a possible means to communicate with others secretly and delve in hacking. Live forums are actually quite popular, despite their age.

Xpnz wrote:

about the SOR system

That's pretty detailed and good. I like that This Shane character will be a lot of fun. Why are all the Captains females? Coinsidence?
And yeah, tell me about their names! It DID peek my curiosity!

The rest is all good. So he's a bit out of it, huh? That can be interesting....

Montezuma wrote:

Cool, man, cool! I can definitly see this as one potentially awesome story! Let's look through it once more, just to filter out some other stuff I noticed.

Alright, I like this Lawson character. You can expect to see him in the future His story fits. The only thing that remains a bit fuzzy is the family thingy. It's a bit vague at this point, like I told you. But you can think about that, I'll let you decide if you want to flesh it out, or just leave it.

Xpnz wrote:

The thought here is that yes, UHA controls the city, but compare it to todays USA. The Police/FBI/NSA etc do infact control most things, but there are still gangs, robberies and murders on the streets. Memphis is assigned to control and act as a sort of mole and report if someone planned something, or who did it if a crime was committed, like a robbery or a murder. He is to act as a liason to UHA where they can't get proper access themselves. All lawinforcments need this, no gouverment or lawenforcement-agency is capable of complete street control. And what better way to control someone than to just threaten them with long jail-time if they dont comply to your orders. And if he is smart, all the bigger chance of him pulling it off.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But did they really tell him to build up the best and biggest gang in the city, or was that an idea (or aspiration) of his own?

Yeah they did. They told him to form a gang, and try to control and keep an eye on as much of the streets as possible

Montezuma wrote:

Xpnz wrote:

I could elaborate but hey, use your imagination

Alright, so a combination of dedication and collective collaboration, as well as good leadership. Works for me. If every gang was as well organized, we'd have a lot more of them.

This is where his IQ plays in. I think UHA is quite satisfied with the system

Montezuma wrote:

Quote :

Memphis does not just "want" to break free. He wants to be able to really control things himself and establishing SOR as a organization, and not just a gang. wich of course UHA does not want. UHA want to keep SOR down on the streets but Memphis wants fame and to be able to be "professional" and noticed in the higher society.

That'll work. Any reason for these higher ambitions? (sue me, I like psychology )

Well...he wants to be noticed, he wants to be an "elite" and see his "empire" grow larger. If he succeeds i recon he'll want to expand further outside the city. It's like a need to conquer, like the kings and emperors of old.

Montezuma wrote:

Xpnz wrote:

Memphis reports to his contact at UHA by placing an ad in the newspaper. Spesific words has different meanings for UHA, so although some sentences may become strange or weird they find the meaning. (I know we are in the future so the "newspaper" can be on the internet, "superfuturethingys", or just "superDUPERfuturethingys" you know? I still think we have some kind of newspaper Razz If this proves ineffective, UHA just calls him on a secret encrypted number. Yes that is easier but its a much higher risk in actually talking on the phone, since rivals or traitors could have him under surveillance etc. So they try to keep the phone-use to a minimum. Nobody but Memphis knows about UHA. This is a gang that generally opposes the law, and something like that would not be treated likely.

Well, newspapers are kind of extinct. They do exist, but it's really only in museums. Computer terminals and gritty hubstations contain all the necassary communication methods these days. Most of them are free too, and while the Internet has become more or less a propaganda platform for the UHA, it''s also (as today) a possible means to communicate with others secretly and delve in hacking. Live forums are actually quite popular, despite their age.

Yeah. This is the thing i struggled with. Finding a good way for him to communicate with UHA. Any suggestions?

Montezuma wrote:

Xpnz wrote:

about the SOR system

That's pretty detailed and good. I like that This Shane character will be a lot of fun. Why are all the Captains females? Coinsidence?
And yeah, tell me about their names! It DID peek my curiosity!

The rest is all good. So he's a bit out of it, huh? That can be interesting....

Well yeah it is in fact a coinsidence that all the Captains are girls. Memphis found the most trustworthy people he could that he knew, and they happened to be girls.

I'll explain their names, but in another post. I just need to write down all details, wich will probably result in a long post, so for the sake of a quick reply, ill explain in a later post

About the communication, let's change that to password protected letters. Or "three-dimentional holograms", as our esteemed emperor refers to them. He communicates through password protected letters, mostly bills. It appears to be a regular bill, but Memphis secretly embeds his message inside the hologram-code. He then cryptates both the message AND the letter itself, making it double protected.

That works i think?

Xpnz wrote:

About the communication, let's change that to password protected letters. Or "three-dimentional holograms", as our esteemed emperor refers to them. He communicates through password protected letters, mostly bills. It appears to be a regular bill, but Memphis secretly embeds his message inside the hologram-code. He then cryptates both the message AND the letter itself, making it double protected.

That works i think?

Excellent. That should do it.

Explenations of the Captains' nicknames:

Phoenix
Kristin has long blonde hair (of course) and while she is usually compassionate and kind, she can also be as trecherous as the flame. One moment she is friendly, kind and, warm, but if you mess up and then dont take proper precautions, shell catch fire to the surroundings and burn everything in the area to the ground, starting with you. How much she burns depends on how fast you can put her out. She has been given this nickname for the incident with her previous boyfriend. She was completely in love with him, and gave him all the love she had. But then one day she found him in bed with another woman. Phoenix snapped and burned his clothes, his vehicle (what transportation is regular now-adays? ), and she even set fire to his house, but it was put out before it was completely burned down. She also almost managed to have him fired from his job, but he managed to stay on, with a downgraded position and less salary. She then, as the mythical bird, she rose as a new woman from the ashes of the previous, and learned from her mistakes with men, and from then on would not have a boyfriend for quite some time.

Watergirl
Grace has brown hair, and brown eyes. Officially she loves the water, she loves to swim, and she even lives by the water. But rumour has it that the real reason she got her nickname was that the first week she was a member of SOR, she supposedly drowned a man from a rivaling gang who had tried to kidnap her. She drowned him in a toilet. She then cut off his finger, put it in a waterballoon, and threw it in a driveby on a high-ranked member of said rival gang. Despite her nice name, Grace, this is NOT the woman you want to mess with of the five. She is even worse than Phoenix.

The Wall
If Stella sets her mind to something, or if you ask her something and get a "no", then trust me, you won't be able to change her mind! No matter what argument you use, or how much you beg, she wont friggin' budge! Everybody who has experienced this can only describe it as "hitting a wall". The only time Stella accepts a different outcome than the one she wants is during council.

The Queen
Marie is not a snob, she is not a primadonna, and she does not live like a queen. She thinks she descends from a queen! A distant queen of Sweden to be precise. And yes, you read correct. She claims to have studied her familys past in cooperation with a history professor, and that they indeed discovered her distant royal bloodline. She was never able to prove it, seeing as the professor died in a car accident two nights before they had scheduled their next meeting. Seeing as she acts a bit strange sometimes most people thinks that she is just "a little confused", and since she keeps insisting that she is the distant relative of a Sweedish queen, people just call her The Queen.

Amber
"Amber is fossil tree resin, which is appreciated for its color and beauty."
This is probably where she got her name. Her perfect brown skin-color, and her beautiful long hair makes her very nice looking. Many claim that the word Amber resembles something that burns or something hot, and people say that it looks like she has a body temperature over 40 C. She glows. Madelyn is the calm and "regular" one of the five. She does not burn your house down, she does not drown people, you CAN persuade her, and she descends from a regular, but a little poor family.

Ha, ha! What characters! I'd be sure to include them in the setting, so thanks for the explanations.

- The two transportation methods that are most common on Apego are shuttletransports (or simply flying cars if you are more wealthy) and an insanly complicated, but effective metro-system. Shuttletransports are cheap, go often, and can transport you along a set route (much like today's buses). They are, however, prone to malfuntioning and can't set you off anywhere. Flying cars work just like real cars, except the fact that they can fly, or 'hover' through the air. Though not exactly expensive, they do cost enough, and you also have to be check it regularily for damages at an authorized mechanic. (The car is programmed to automatically do this if you don't.)
The metro system is enormous in Apego, and always expanding. It covers much of the city's core, and streches far out from there (though not to the outskirts). Despite being cheap and mobile, the metro is notoriously known for being insanly difficult to find your way in, as most of the stations (and there are THOUSANDS of stations) are exactly alike in appearance. It's also likely that local gangs control the more distant metro's, as it's only the ones in the city core that are regularly patrolled by UHA military personel.

Montezuma wrote:

It's also likely that local gangs control the more distant metro's, as it's only the ones in the city core that are regularly patrolled by UHA military personel.

It is indeed so. SOR controls a couple of them themselves. They keep it under constant watch, and if they see enemies, UHA, or other suspicious characters, they notify their superior seregant, who then takes matters into his own hands or relay the message to one of the captains, depending on level of importance. They also try to contain them as much as possible, but they are told to avoid open conflicts, especially with UHA.

The rival gang wich SOR has the most trouble with containing is known as "Forcefield", or "FF". This is the third largest gang on the streets and they are SOR's arch-enemies. They are neighbours, and therefore constantly in conflicts with each other, both at the metro's and at so-called "border-shops" (as explained before). FF very often use guerilla warfare, and attacks in small raiding-parties that do as much damage they can, in as little time as they can. SOR has struggled to defend themselves against it. Not to long ago there were to be negotiations of peace, but since SOR struggled a bit at the time, they realised that FF wanted to exploit that. Therefore SOR's negotiator was Stella... It did not end pretty...

Xpnz wrote:

It is indeed so. SOR controls a couple of them themselves. They keep it under constant watch, and if they see enemies, UHA, or other suspicious characters, they notify their superior seregant, who then takes matters into his own hands or relay the message to one of the captains, depending on level of importance. They also try to contain them as much as possible, but they are told to avoid open conflicts, especially with UHA.

The rival gang wich SOR has the most trouble with containing is known as "Forcefield", or "FF". This is the third largest gang on the streets and they are SOR's arch-enemies. They are neighbours, and therefore constantly in conflicts with each other, both at the metro's and at so-called "border-shops" (as explained before). FF very often use guerilla warfare, and attacks in small raiding-parties that do as much damage they can, in as little time as they can. SOR has struggled to defend themselves against it. Not to long ago there were to be negotiations of peace, but since SOR struggled a bit at the time, they realised that FF wanted to exploit that. Therefore SOR's negotiator was Stella... It did not end pretty...

Nice. So Stella is the type to send when things get difficult, eh? Heh, I can imagine...
Alright, I think we're pretty much finished at this point - you are now free to change minor things and add some more info if you want, but the main stuff is definitly complete. Character approved!

Now, is there a particular scenario or setting you would like to have as your Kicker?

I think i'll manage with the info i have.

Actually, i think you can create one yourself. I think that will work best

C'MON WHERES THE REST OF THE PEOPLE?!?!

Well, what can I say? I've tried getting people to join, but no one seems really interested

People are stupid....